Are we there yet?

Tonight we were talking to a very cool guy who knows a lot about the brain and how it works, and stuff like that. He has explained to us that there is a relatively new branch of psychology that seeks not to erase the unpleasant symptoms that most of us have of one sort or another at some time in our life which mess with our mental health. The idea is that thoughts and ideas cannot necessarily be controlled as they come in and out of our consciousness, but we can control the way we respond to what comes into our mind and this is best done within the context of whether our response to those thoughts is moving us closer towards becoming the person we want to be or further. I love it when science philosophy and religion all mesh. To me it is proof of the existence of God.

He talked to us as the person as a whole, to accept and appreciate ourselves and all that makes us who we are. When we look at a sunset, we appreciate it as a whole, we don't think, "well if only that cloud there could shift a bit or that pink was red instead.." we just see the beauty of the sunset in its entirety. Why can't we be more that way with ourselves and each other?

Anyway, so he had us take part in an exercise. It was Benj, Aaron and I. We were each given some time to think about how we would like to be described by others when we were about 90 or so. Benj said he would like to be known as someone who was kind to others.

Aaron said that he would like his family to remember him as someone who really loved them and just generally a nice person.

I said that I would like to be known as someone who lived with integrity and made people feel genuinely good about themselves by helping them to discover and work towards fulfilling their individual power and potential.

After Aaron and I said our piece, the wise man asked Benjamin what he thought about our goals. And Benj said, very simply and sincerely,

"I think they are already the people that they want to be".

I cried. Seriously, I don't think anyone could say anything that would mean more to me.

I know he is already the person he wants to be. And he's not even 10. That kid blows my mind.
He is especially special. Watch for him.

Who do you want to be? Are you there yet?

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nyn said...

Seriously Kirsty you have me crying every blog. This was so touching. You have some really amazing and wonderful kiddos. I want to be the same thing as Benj. I want people to remember me as kind and loving. I think your son was right on about you and Aaron. But don't keel off just because you have both become what you want to be we all want you around to continually inspire us to be better!

Kirsty said...

Aw thanks Carolyn, you are very kind. No fear, I think my son is very generous and we both realize we have a lot of work to do;)
Thanks again for your sweet comment. You make my day! :)