What not to do when committing a felony

Upon stealing a credit card and going on a shopping spree with it:
1. Don't shop at major retailers who take security photos of every customer at the time of their purchase.
2.Don't purchase cigarettes which require you to show your ID
3.Don't purchase cigarettes which require the entry of your birth-date into the system
4.Don't live in a small town where the police have time to match up your birth date (and thus drivers license) with the several good photos they have of you in various major retailers using your stolen credit card.
5.Don't go to more then one store to use your credit card and get photographed doing so, each photo counts as an automatic felony rather then the misdemeanor you may get away with, without the snapshot.
6.Don't be signing someone else's name for your stolen purchases. Another felony (gosh they are adding up) It's called forgery.
7.Don't steal someone whose credit card is in fact a debit card, in the week before payday. Your shopping spree will be fairly short lived before the checking account runs dry, and you may as well have a really good time with a real credit card (look for Gold or Platinum) for all that time you are going to spend in jail.
8. Just so you know, it is considered bad form to shoplift with a small child in tow. (Plus small children tend to squeal with the narcs come around.)

Seriously I feel very sorry for these people, quite sick about it actually. Ugh, so sad. They have not yet been charged but they have been identified. As of tonight, they remain blissfully unaware as to their impending fate, unless they read my blog that is. Because you know, so many people do.

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Jen Lynn said...

Oh man, that's lame! Stupid thieves.