So it turns out my parents DID have us just to be their slaves....

Did you ever tell your parents that? When they heartlessly forced you to work your fingers to the bone, making your bed, feeding the dog and so forth? I probably did not have the courage to say it outright (did I mom?) but I muttered it under my breath and thought it alllllll the time. Yes mom, I did.

And now my kids say it to me, and I have always thought that this was sooooo hilarious. Yeah kid, me asking you to put away your laundry totally compensates for me doing the laundry, feeding, cleaning, bathing, puke catching, bum wiping, nose wiping, nine months of morning sickness and years of labour (of the birthing variety- yes years. Seriously, my kids take their sweet time down the birth canal and they also tend to love to hang out there for hours in transition -between 8-10 cms- while I have un-medicated contractions 45 seconds apart. Good times. ) So YEAH kid, that's exactly why I had you. So that you could make the bed that would not even exist if I had not had you.

Anyway, ever since my kids have been old enough to make this ludicrous claim, I have occasionally wondered if maybe, just perhaps the same was true of my own parents, and they weren't opportunistic little child-slave drivers after all. I was juuuust starting to let my parents off the hook when this conversation took place today:

Aaron: (my husband, for the uninitiated): "So this is how it is going to go tonight guys! I need 2 kids to set the table and unload the dishwasher, and I need 2 kids to clear the table and load the dishwasher."
Me: (chiming in enthusiastically) Yes! And I need one kid to vacuum the living room and sweep the dining room while the other teams are doing their thing.
Aaron: (does not miss a beat) and that would take 5 kids and we only have four.
Me: Oh man, that's right! Dammit.

See, that is our motivation! Deep in our hearts we procreate just for the free maid service. Clearly we have entered a new phase of life here. I guess my babies are really growing up. They are big enough to be my servants now. Awwww.... Awesome



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12 comments:

Under the Florida Sun said...

ROFL!!
Now if we can only get them to do it while singing and saying ' Yes, Mrs. Mother' LOL...

My girls have been great as helpers, so I'm very thankful. :-)

Missy said...

BWAHAHAHA!

When my kids complain about being slaves I tell them that why I had children. Must be a mom thing LOL.

So are you trying to tell us there is one more little Kirsty/Aaron on the way? ;)

Denise said...

So, reading between the lines does that mean you are planning a #5? You have such BEAUTIFUL babies, you really should consider having more!!! And just think how much more evenly distributed the housework will be in a few years when the new baby is old enough to help out the siblings.

Samantha said...

Annie! How long it's been since I've seen that.

I remember feeling very overworked as a kid :-)

Anonymous said...

What can I say? I have been found out. Now you know why poor Shona prayed for 6 long years to have a little sister. The poor kid was burned out and needed a handlanger! Please don't report us!
Marmie.

Kallie said...

ohhhh that's classic -- hilar.

Mommy Dear said...

I think I'm gonna teach that song to my boys just so I can hear it when they scrub my floors...

Tooj said...

I have two problems:
1 - I have boys and they are infinitely less able to help. They can't even locate shoes directly by their feet.

2 - I don't know if I'm allowed to use the term "slave" since they're bi-racial. Seems...wrong? I suppose I'll continue doing the bulk, and allow them mattresses instead of straw, sheets instead of burlap.

{april kennedy} said...

loved it! that was great. time to have another!

Elaine Bowen said...

I just loved this. James and my favourite pass-time is to try think of ways the kids can help out more and we can do less!!!!

And my answer to the moaning is: "When you are a mommy one day, you can do things your way."

But they'll probably do exactly what we did and our mothers did and their mothers did.

Love ya.

Elaine

nyn said...

ROFL!! I actually ask my kids if they think I am their slave. I make them help but most often when getting whined at about how hard it is to put their shoes away, I respond with something like "it must be hard to be you having someone cooking and cleaning all day, taking you places and what not, do you think I am your slave?" I need to force more work out of them so i get that response from them. Thanks for the tips.

thehorizontalyoyo said...

The early years are hard, to be sure. But then that magical age hits where the kids can do what you ask UNSUPERVISED (this is the real icing on the cake, see?)

I have one boy and one girl. I have to say that my girl (8) is more willing and a lot better at things than my boy (12), but he's learning that just because he claims ignorance, does not mean he gets out of the chore.