A Little Horror Story


Once upon a time in a house in the town that Spring forgot, there lived a woman who liked to brush her teeth. In that same house lived a little girl who liked to explore the contents of the bathroom where the woman liked to brush her teeth.

One late night the exhausted woman went to brush her teeth. About half way through the process (or a good minute or so of vigorous brushing,) she realized that the toothbrush head just didn't feel right. It was sort of soft...and mushy. She pulled it out of her mouth and realized with much distaste, that this was not, in fact, her toothbrush head. It had a pink ring rather then the blue ringed head she had just replaced her old head with.

"Hmmm...", thought the exhausted woman, "that little stinker daughter of mine brushed her teeth up here and left her brush-head on my toothbrush. Grrr...gross!!" She irritably replaced the pink head she'd been using with the correct head, and resolved to lecture her daughter about not touching anything of mommy's in the bathroom anymore, and definitely not to use her toothbrush if she could not remember to put the right head back on.

(You may or may not know, that the woman is particularly skittish over the issue of toothbrush hygiene).

Then, like all good mothers do, she forgot about it.

A few days later, the woman noticed that the pink toothbrush head had not moved from the basket on the counter where she had left it. "Oh my word!", thought the horrified woman, either my dear, yet apparently disgusting daughter has not brushed her teeth at all for several days, or she has been using someone else's toothbrush to do so. Either way, grrrr..yuck! "And the disgruntled woman made a mental note to lecture her delightful daughter about using her own toothbrush and/ or brushing her teeth with it on a regular basis.

Later that day, the woman brought up the issue with her daughter, "why were you using my toothbrush base and what have you been using to brush your teeth since then- with your pink toothbrush head still in my bathroom?" she demanded indignantly.

"Oh no mommy", said her wide eyed, golden haired child, smiling proudly, "that wasn't my toothbrush, I found that pink head and put it on your toothbrush for you, because I know that pink is the colour you use".

With a burgeoning fear gathering in her heart, and a sinking feeling churning in her stomach, the woman weakly asked,

"where did you find that pink head?"
"Under the sink!" said the sweet daughter, in a spritely manner, "Mommy? Mommy?...what's the matter?".

The woman stared unseeingly into the distance, a scene was playing out in her head. A scene that involved her thinking, "Oh look! Instead of tossing it, I will recycle this old toothbrush head and use it to get into all the nasty little crevices on the toilet seat! I will give all those crevices a good scrubbing! Maybe the base of the toilet too! Yes! This toothbrush will be just the thing for that." The scene ended with the woman industriously carrying out her plan, and then rinsing the toothbrush head, (but not bleaching it..because it was only going back into the toilet again).. and storing it neatly......

under the sink.

The woman in the town which Spring forgot has been involuntarily gagging ever since. No plague has developed as yet. Her husband continues to kiss her. Because he is a good man. A very good man.

And what of the daughter? I don't think she will be helping out in this way again any time soon. At least this is my fervent hope. Children in my bathroom inevitably mean pain and despair for me. Remember "Making Magic" in my contact lens case? Ahhhh....the misty eyed memories..

Remind me to tell you of Glitter Face Day.

I'm reading: A Little Horror StoryTweet this!

59 comments:

Laurel @ Ducks in a Row said...

thank you for the laugh - sorry about the story, but you wrote it in such a way that I laughed out loud! This mommy needs that!

warmfuzzies said...

oh my goodness. My kids try to help all the time and I always find myself in a tizzy after they "help". It is sad but true. I woudl love to praise them more for he,ping out and being good to me but in the moment of things you just can't seem to find the praise to give. Oh our precious darlings. I love them so!! :)

Rachel said...

Oh that is just too gross and funny! I feel so bad for you! I would not even know what to do in that situation!

Samantha said...

I used to ride horses. I once used the old toothbrush I kept under the sink to clean the horse poop off of my boots. And then one day, somehow, with no kids to blame, that toothbrush found its way into my mouth... I'll stop there except to say that it didn't taste quite right, even with all the toothpaste on it.

Stephanie said...

OOOOOOOOooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Anonymous said...

You live yet, and that is what you must focus on and STRONGLY, SERIOUSLY discipline your mind NOT TO GO THERE, or else there will be no way to live with this without counselling. Ag shame!!!!! Poor little Gracie, so well meaning. Love you both.

Marmie.

Denise said...

Ack!!!! Too gross to think about, but one of the reasons I have refused to jump on the cleaning gross places with a toothbrush bandwagon. Ewww, ewwww, ewww.

ukyankoz said...

Oh jeez, I don't think I'd be able to resist gargling with bleach after that! Oh, ew ew ew, just block it out, it didn't happen it never EVER happened!!

Janet said...

ewww...ick...gag...sputter...Good thing she's cute, eh?

Kallie said...

whhhaaaaaa hahahahahahahaaa. . . and yuk.

Stef said...

Tooo Funny!!!!!

Sooo sorry!!!!

Tooo Funny!!!!!

nyn said...

I am gagging a little bit, while laughing. *sorry*, but ewwwww!! I think this tops the magic in your contact case, although....okay I can only think about the toothbrush still and ewwww!! Thank goodness our bodies have all those germ fighting enzymes to take care of problems like these and did I mention ewwwww.

Bethany said...

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkk. Oh Kirsty. OH Kirsty. Wow - I can't think of ANYTHING else to say. Maybe that I wish that were a made up story...?

Superjaxster said...

Oh good grief! That is hilarious, but only because it didn't happen to me!

Thalia said...

HAHAHAHA!!! Hilarious! Condolences!

Holly said...

Oh dear. I'm so sorry. But it was funny!

Steph said...

Having just scrubbed our bathroom with a toothbrush under the sink, I will make sure the childproof lock is nice and tight so a certain girl in our household does not do the same thing to me (until she figures out how to open the lock).

Suddenly I feel like a piece of gum and a deep cleaning from the dentist!!!

ICK! You'll have to KUP on how you're feeling...

Shona said...

Please tell it wasn't the downstairs sink and toilet...argghhhh...

{april kennedy} said...

You really just can't think about it for too long. I did and almost lost my lunch. I am so sorry.

Mama Kat said...

Oh no she DIDN'T!!! I'm gagging...that is so gross!!

Angelia said...

Ahhh! Ewww! Oh, I just can't imagine. Horror story indeed!

Missy said...

Oh my! Ick!

Stopping in from SITS.

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

Oh YUCK! How GROSS! UGH!! Communication is important! You need to share with your family members about your big change in plans for implements. Aw, sad for your daughter, she was just trying to be helpful!

Congrats on your SITS day!

Yaya said...

Oh. My. Gosh. BARF!!!!!!!

Serendipity said...

I am speechless!

Elizabeth a.k.a. Type A Mommy said...

That's too funny, that totally cracks me up!

Brandi said...

Oh My Golly. That's so gross. So very very gross. I have a thing about toothbrush hygiene too. I'm now making a mental note to lock up my toothbrush.

Creative Junkie said...

*thud* <-------, me, passing out from the grossness of it all.

You poor thing.

knit1kids4 said...

Oh gross.... gross, gross, gross. That would so happen to me.

Cheryl said...

Just think, now it's something you can sit back and laugh at :) I am always paranoid about using a "cleaning" toothbrush for my teeth though - I tend to toss the cleaning ones after one use (which isn't very recycle-y of me, I know, but I'm scared of the germs!)
Stopping by from SITS :)

Blia said...

Yuck! I do feel for you! Happy SITS Day!

Laura said...

Yuck!! But wait until she gets to be a teenager, then your base makeup, mascara, favorite perfume, favorite earrings, etc... will start to disappear.

Working Mommy said...

OH. DEAR. GOD!!! I too am a bit OCD when it comes to the importance of toothbrush care and maintenance...and I must say - OFF WITH HER HEAD!!! Eeeewwwwwww!! Hopefully you're doing okay!

~WM

sweetjeanette said...

If someone gags, I gag. Thanks.
LOL

gag.....

sweetjeanette.blogspot.com

Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

NICE! I loved the telling of this disgusting tale. May you never have another contaminated object sneak up on you again.

MamaOtwins+1 said...

EWWWWW! And I thought boys were the gross ones!

Karen said...

Very Funny but oh so disgusting. Note to self: do not old toothbrushes for cleaning.

Karen

Kerri said...

Oh. My. Word. I think I would have involuntarily vomitted right there. I am SUCH a germophobe... That would have plushed me over the edge! Huge props to you for staying sane!!
Kerri from SITS

kellyjorichards said...

I just threw up in my mouth a little. But I am enjoying having a good laugh at your expense!
As soon as I'm done feeding my baby (and can have two free hands) I will be putting your button on my blog. You are hilarious!

Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

@_@

So sorry!!!!

Date Girl said...

What a nightmare!!! Your hubby is a very good man for continuing to kiss you. EW EW EWW! Did you ever see the Seinfeld episode where he drops his gf's brush in the toilet, and before he can throw it away, she's brushing her teeth with it? And he's so grossed out he dumps her? Lol. Wow...just think of telling that story when your little one is older. :-)

2busy said...

Oh, I am laughing so hard! That is just gross!

Juliet Grossman said...

OMG that is one of the funniest things I have heard in awhile. Sorry -- guess it's funnier when happening to someone else lol. Hee! Happy SITS Day:-)

Kristin @ Meanbean said...

oh man...my stomach just did a flip or three....GAG. This is something my little honey would do, thinking she was helpful....GAH. Bravo that you've -only- gagged from that...ewwww

Sandi said...

This is hilarious.

Diana said...

AHHH! I know now once i have little ones to not leave old heads laying around! I'm glad there were no lasting effects!

Marie said...

ooooooooo......ewwwwwwww....bleh bleh bleh....I've got the urge to spit and gag.....ewwwwww...I'm so sorry this happened to you!

Joy said...

I feel like I should brush my teeth now....

Congrats on your SITS day!

Christi said...

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! Sorry for your horrible mommy moment. What a thoughtful little girl you are raising! LOL! Very hillarious and by now I suppose the eww is long brushed out of you.

Happy Sits day!

Vivianne said...

STRUCTURED HELP. That is the only way to go. I have children also. One is a very mischievous boy. That's all I need to say about that. (As I shudder...)

Kara said...

Oh, I am so so sorry, but that is hysterical! That'll teach you to do such a good job at cleaning the bathroom!

Happy SITS day!

Stephanie Stearns Dulli said...

oh my God. I will be having nightmares about this tonight. Although I'm pretty sure that we might be related i.e. the saving of the toothbrush to clean the loo.

But ugh! So gross!!!!!

Marie said...

I had a feeling the story was going down that road...One of my worst nightmares!

{leah} said...

I have pink.... the boys hate pink... I'm usually safe...

Fallon said...

"My eye! My eye!" LMAO! Ahh, your making magic blog entry was hilarious!

Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Awesome! I love it. See it's good to know that we all have toothbrush issues...

My hubs is constantly using my toothbrush. And everytime he does I give him that toothbrush and get a new one. And even though he has 20 of my old toothbrushes in his possession, all in the shower mind you, he continues to grab mine (as it's closer to the shower than his) and use it.

WTF????? As mothers we have to share everything, our food, our books, our pens, hell even our pee breaks...everything with our kids. Can't I even have my own damn toothbrush.

Ahhh, I feel better, your's is WAY grosser. :) Thanks!

Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner
www.MaWhats4Dinner.com

Jennifer said...

OMG! That is hilarious (since it didn't happen to me). While I was reading it I was wondering just what happened to that toothbrush. Maybe the little girl brushed the dog's teeth with it...couldn't be worse than that could it? (I was thinking while reading) Oh it was...it was! Ewww!

Jenn Erickson said...

There's no doubt about why the good lord made children so darn cute, considering the shenanigans they pull. Your story certainly takes the cake! You have me curious about "glitter face" and the contact lens case too! Tremendously enjoying my belated SITS visit!

Kristin said...

Oh dude no. Ewwwwwwwww. At least she's helpful. Ah ha ha