The plight of the Piglet

This morning while spinning (on the bike rather then loom) next to my kind and trusted friend Amy, I broke down and confessed to everything I ate yesterday in list form starting with breakfast. She began to get shocked and afraid at around noon, but I was only just warming up around then. I continued to eat in earnest pretty much constantly (when I was not napping) until about 9:30pm. She soberly agreed that I had been a very, very, very bad girl. I am sure a less understanding person (like Nathan) would have just shot me on principle. It was that bad.

At approximately 11pm last night the irrevocable decision to never be pregnant again was made as I sat up in bed in the dark, wracked with terrible heartburn. I had to take two Zantac. To put this all into perspective I have never taken Zantac while not pregnant. The Zantac I found in the medicine cabinet expired in 2006. Which is why I took two. It did the trick. Eventually. At one point, I considered sticking my finger down my throat. Not to be bulimic about it, but it was clear that my body had run out of space for all the food and something had to be done before I choked on the stomach acid. But I didn't. Because that would be wrong, friends. Gluttony has its consequences and we must endure them until the Zantac kicks in.

Anyway as I spun like a maniac this morning, I breathlessly informed Amy that I did not intend to eat for the next week or so or until the exercise had burned up the 350, 000 calories my body was trying to deal with from this weekend. Whichever came first. She indicated that given the extremeness of the circumstances, this may not be an inappropriate course of action.

Then I came home. And ate a cheese-stick. And then a yoghurt. And then a few handfuls of BBQ chips.

song chart memes
see more Funny Graphs

Due to the fact that my size 2 jeans (which have plenty of stretch and fit just fine last October,) now look as if am actually trying to squeeze into a 2 year old's jeans, (and before you get all eye-rolly about the size, consider that I am only 5'2-yes fine, Shona, only 5ftTWO, and actually am and appear to be very average in weight when wearing that size), due to that fact: at 12:15pm this afternoon (over the BBQ chip bag) it was decided that I will exercise to any extent required if it means that I do not have to curtail what I eat. Because apparently that is not my scene.

So. What is your favourite method of exercise? As you may know, I am a devoted convert to interval training for weight loss/maintenance and I generally do that with running, but I must say that I am enjoying mixing it up with the spinning. Amy and I just scream at each other so we don't have to pay for a class.

That and P-90X . I have to say, that crazy dude don't mess around. I continue to be virtually paralyzed on the 2nd day after I attempt it.

I'm reading: The plight of the PigletTweet this!

9 comments:

JUST ME, THE MOM said...

I so wish I had your energy - but I do love hiking the foothills around my home each day, just lovely, love that outdoor fresh air, sunshine and mountain vistas - sigh . . .

Kristin

Peg said...

I think eating the chips out of the bag (or left over wedding cake, like I just did) is far more enjoyable and produces many more endorphines than any of those machines I visited this morning at the gym!

Jill said...

I like to do a mental workout...a lay in bed, close my eyes and think of what i would look like/ feel like if i was exercising...some may call it napping...i call it working out!

Chief said...

I do an awesome forklift

Jen Lynn said...

Here's my food list for today...
2 Glasses OJ *calories*
1 Bowl *BIG* of Moose Tracks Ice cream
Chocolate covered popcorn with chocolate candy corn
4 Ritz crackers
3 Rhodes rolls
1/2 of a bowl of soup *fatty soup*

And that's it. I had no desire to eat anything green and crunchy. And I still don't. I'm on a salt/sugar/and starvation binge and I can't stop. Heeeelllllpppp.

PS: I love my aerobics! Really.
PPS: Gimme some P90X - I want in

Leah said...

Exactly!!! You hit the nail on the head. The more I CARE about losing weight, the hungrier I get, and the more I eat. I no longer worry about my weight. I'm not skinny, but neither am I borderline obese. And I know that I cannot moderate consumption of refined sugar, I just can't. So I gave it up 2-1/2 years ago. I never have to worry about that sort of food again.

The Redhead Riter said...

LOL LOL LOL

My posting today is on one of the other seven deadly sins -- Envy

Should I do one on Gluttony for you too?

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

{ L } said...

p90x is awesome! I know Crossfit is the big thing right now but I am not too big of a fan because it seems injury prone and they don't pay a lot of attention to proper form, etc.

And girl! Have I mentioned that you are hilarious?!! How does everything you write make me laugh? ;)

Tooj said...

Exercise....I did it...for a few months. But winter weather sets in and I get distracted. By eating. :) We could be weekend snack buddies if we lived closer.

On a sidenote, you're 5'2"? So weird. Whenever I've imagined you as I read along here, I pictured you as taller than me for some reason. I just thought you might be 5'9" or so...I don't know why. Funny how words can give us a false sense of physical description. :)