Why I have Sucked At Blogging Lately. By Kirsty. Aged 35.

Herewith please find my list of reasons/excuses for the lack of quality blogging of late. Not that anyone out there is exactly clamoring for quality blogging. Or blogging of any kind really. Or that I owe the world quality blogging. Assuming there ever was quality blogging to begin with.
I just felt like making a list of reasons and excuses. It is my way. It clears my head and lets me start anew. So without further ado.
1. There were several “events” that needed to be recorded pictorially for posterity. Mostly toward the end of the school year. Fabulous things. Things that filled me with pride and joy and sentimental wobbles. Things I want to record properly because they honour my children who worked hard and did well and deserve proper props. If I don’t get those “events’ adequately recorded, then I feel that I can not proceed with anything else. It’s a syndrome of my OCD. So while I wait for a good window of time to do these fabulous final days of school events justice….we end up with nothing. Perfect.
2. After school got out I instantly become my children’s cruise ship director. There was no first day of summer holidays chilling out… no hanging out in PJ’s with no agenda…..no easing into Summer. School was out and BAM…I was ON. Or so it felt. Each day suddenly became a fulltime whirlwind of facilitating other people’s fun. Which was indeed fun for some (i.e: not always for me). Let me explain. It wasn’t that anyone’s summer plans were super ambitious or demanding. It’s just that there are quite a few people with plans. And when you have a newborn, getting out of the house can be quite stressful. Getting out of the house for extended periods in the heat with a bunch of people (including a nursing newborn) multiple times a day can be very stressful. (Especially if many of those excursions involve baring your 2 month postpartum body at the pool which is only slightly more fun than a root canal. Actually no. Considerably less fun than a root canal because with a root canal there is pain medication and you remain fully clothed and you have that extra little bib thing on even. No need to shave for a root canal.)
This all led to..
3. Becoming exhausted and overwhelmed which in turn…led to…
4. Feelings of inadequacy. Why does this feel hard? Why am I overwhelmed? It’s Summer. This is fun! I’m so lucky! I get to stay home with my kids! Why can’t I get it together?! None of this stuff is really hard. Why am I so lame? Why do I still look like a manatee? Where did all those lumps on my legs come from? When did bright sunlight go from being friend to foe? Etcetera…etcetera
From there we’ve experienced some glorious…
5. Flare ups of postpartum depression. Or regular depression. Who knows. Either way….not so much the life of the party.
Which resulted in…… not eating or sleeping for days at a time.
Which created the perfect environment for…
6.Catching the stomach flu from the child I nursed back to health during said post partum depression interlude.
Which in turn led to…
6. Residual exhaustion and mountainous laundry situations
which made for..
7. A general lack of blogging.
I have had oh so many thoughts over the past few weeks though. Thoughts I wish I could have recorded, thoughts I would have enjoyed feedback and discussion on. Thoughts that have now vanished entirely from my sleep deprivation damaged brain forever.
And the photos. Oh the many millions of photos. (Did you know I have the cutest ever-growing newborn baby whose appearance changes at least 26,000 times a day? But never fear! I have made sure to photograph each time it happens. Whew. I know you were worried for a second there...)
Hopefully I will have thoughts again. I hope to resume quality blogging tomorrow. Hormones/flu bug/sleep patterns willing.

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Brittany said...

Just so you know--I have much less "out" work to do (since my kids are younger) and I still feel the same way about wanting to post so much on my blog that I get overwhelmed and then I forget all the things I wanted to post in the first place. Anyway, I'm sure the lost memories/thoughts will be restored come resurrection--right? In the meantime we just do the best we can. And it sounds like you're trying to run faster than your body has strength. Try walking for a while, ok? (AKA, give yourself a break!)

Anonymous said...

I am with Brittany...1 Cut yourself a bit of slack, and try eating - at lease something - which may lead to sleeping. Babies don't sleep when they are hungry. Why should we? Take some time to nurture you please.

Kallie said...

I just love reading all your thoughts 'cause it makes me feel a bit validated. I just want to "share" it with everyone I know...plus it makes me giggle.