I called my brother yesterday to wish him Happy Birthday. Our conversation drifted to our babies, his Samuel will turn 2 in August, and my Ella just turned 1. I mentioned that Ella seems to consider my arm a convenient snack. Whenever she gets hungry she bum scootches over to me and takes a bite of my arm. I feel like a bowl of mixed nuts. My arm is covered in bruises. It is not her most endearing quality.
Seth: Hmmmm….and when she bites you what do you do?
Me: Well I usually scream and then I say, “please don’t bite me! that really, really hurts!”
Seth: Hmmmm….yeah, well we used this thing called the Bite Pin when Samuel was biting. Somebody bought it for us. It works well.
Me: Bite Pin? How does it work?
Seth: Well it’s this wooden disk with a pin in it. When they bite, you just prick them with it.
Me: What do you mean you just prick them with it?
Seth: You prick them with the pin part.
Me: WHAT? You prick your baby?! Does it draw blood?
Aaron listening on speakerphone (mutters): That’s messed up, man.
Seth: No it does not generally draw blood. And it works really well. Somebody gave it to us, soo….
Me: Well yes, I understand because someone gave us this thing called The Sass Belt. When our kids sass us, we just slap them across the face with the Sass Belt! It works really well…. ARE YOU CRAZY?! How can you prick your kid with a pin??!
Seth: We prick him on the soles of his feet…and the skin there is tougher, that’s probably why he doesn’t bleed….
Aaron: (muttering) that’s even worse! that’s even worse!
Me: SETH! THE SOLES OF HIS FEET!
Seth: I’m joking, I’m totally joking…..
And this is why I enjoy talking to my siblings.