Don’t Blink!

October 15, 2007

My friend Kathleen's son Jeremie turned 10 today. When I first got to know her, he was 3. I remember talking to her on the phone as he was whining about something, trying to buy some more time for us to chat and  giving her a message for him, something about how he was the coolest 5 year old ever. She was laughing and relaying the message, "Jeremie, Kirsty says you are the coolest THREE year old ever". Even if he had been 5 then, I would still be stunned today, because seriously, that was yesterday. Ok fine, it was not yesterday but it was 18 months ago-TOPS.
Our mutual friend Nancy noted that in one more blink-which is what the last 10 years have seemed like to us, he will be 20. We will have 20 year old children! My life will be so different from what it is now. I have no doubt I will long for these times, because I really feel as though I am in the golden age of parenting, of life really, right now. I already feel nostalgic for this time- It just goes too fast. It's the oldest cliche in the book but there's no other way to put it. It literally slips through your hands. Every Fall when I see the empty pool, I get choked up because one more summer is just a memory, and that's one more year of childhood over.
Every few months when things get extra tight  in the moolah dept, we reluctantly talk about me getting a full time job. So far, we have managed to close our eyes and squeak through for "just one more month." It's not an ideal situation but you know, in a way it is a blessing in disguise. Being aware of  staying home with my kids as long as I possibly can, since going to work full time has become a real possibility, I have really cherished the privelige that it is. I feel blessed, so truly spoiled to be able to do so. It is without a doubt the best job in the world.  While it certainly has it's teeth grinding, head banging, throat straining moments, (bedtime anyone?)  it can also be downright cushy at times.  And hey, I'm not going to lie,  when they are little (under 3) it is often (usually) just plain tough. Most days are an exercise in endurance of mind body and spirit. I remember feeling almost violent pangs of envy toward Kathleen (mom of 4 including Jeremie the 10 year old) who was on East Coast time while we were living in California, when she would gloat that she was 3 hours closer to the magical hour when daddy would come home. (The fact that she had been at it for 3 hours longer then I had was completely moot to us both-the appointed hour of salvation was that much closer for her then it was for me).
I remember daddy's return as a beacon of hope to cling to throughout the day. And while it must be said that the infant/toddler trench years truly were incredible, with many many moments where I felt incandescent with joy-perhaps more intensely then at any other time of parenting, andbelieve it or not it was a time that I sincerely did not want to end back then, now that I am here, I do not long for those days as I so fervently feared I would.  I hope I am feeling the same way about now 10 years from now but I have my doubts. This time of life is simply the best and I am trying my hardest not to blink.
Happy birthday Big Smart Kid! :)
Posted at 04:00 PM | Permalink

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Samantha O.
This was so refreshing to read, Kirsty. I hear mostly bad things/complaints from parents currently with children at home and so it's nice to read that there are also moments that a parent can recognize the joys as they happen. Not to say at all that I think parents shouldn't vent when they're frustrated... it's just that they often don't think to tell other people (such as those of us without kids yet, who may be a bit worried about the whole "giving up their lives to be parents" thing) about the good stuff. So thank you.

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Anonymous said...

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