Taking Back Control: One Year Later

On this day one year ago I kicked off The Momedy-sketch Take Back Control Challenge.
I thought it appropriate that I use the anniversary to review my own progress vis a vis: taking back control of my life.  I was in such a terrible slump when I came up with the idea of the challenge.  I could feel in a literal, physical way a block as heavy and impenetrable as concrete sitting somewhere around my throat and chest area that was pinning me back from getting on with my life’s purpose, I could feel the energy and the drive thrumming impatiently inside but I couldn’t access it. It felt as if I was running in place, or in one of those dreams where you can’t get to where you are trying to go, I felt like the motor was running but the gear was in neutral….you get the gist. I knew that I would need a good thick stick of dynamite to blast the cement block out of my way and I have always been energized by rallying a group together for a shared purpose.
Last year was a long and hard one. It started off pretty badly and went on to have some major lows but also some highs. It was a year of growth.  And I was more than happy to see the end of it.
Despite a mostly  sucky growth-filled year, I would call the Take Control challenge a great personal success and it was indeed so tremendously encouraging and inspiring to watch and cheer others in the community on as they achieved their goals.  I am indebted to each and every person who participated in the challenge despite my shaky leadership.

For me the challenge kicked off lots of positive changes: a 35lb weight loss, the achievement of some long neglected fitness goals, facing and overcoming some fears that were really holding me back. (It was decreed to be the year of Fearlessness after all).  I began a new venture helping to empower people to take control of their health and every day I am rewarded with texts from people telling me how happy they are, how excited they are to finally be in control and achieving what they had started to believe they never would.  It’s incredibly fulfilling and I am verklempt on a regular basis.  I started my Masters degree which has been fascinating and exhausting in equal parts. And best of all, I made some wonderful new friendships.

 Finally, after a really rough year struggling with depression and anxiety, I found a wonderful new doctor who worked with me to treat it properly, and amazingly enough, this brutal winter has been one of less than a handful in the last 2 decades during which I did not struggle with debilitating depression.
While it didn’t really happen for me during 2013, although I did make considerable progress,  it happened before March so I will count it. Over the last couple of months, the penny finally dropped regarding organizing and maintaining order in my home and I finally figured out systems that make sense and are sustainable.  It’s a modern miracle. No truly it is.
I’m feeling optimistic and motivated about this year. Yes, I know we are in the 3rd month of this year already (wow) but in many ways March feels like my personal new year. It’s not just the (theoretical) arrival of Spring that does it for me, it’s also that for some reason I feel a sense of limbo in January and February.  With a lot less apathy this year than in years past,  it’s felt like a time for getting my ducks in a row in preparation for coming out of hibernation. But I’m feeling like the page has finally turned now and  I’m excited to see what the story of 2014 will be.

Amidst all the self-congratulations and tales of triumph, I must keep it real and acknowledge that among many other areas of my life which need some major work and overhaul, this blog has somewhat floundered over the last year. Posting has been erratic and sporadic. This makes me feel sad and incomplete. I love this little blog of mine, it has done so much for me and it deserves better.With school starting back for me on Monday, I really need to budget my time carefully though. Blogging is a great outlet for me but if I am really busy and then I feel overwhelmed with an excess of information to share… I tend to post nothing. I have lamented this tendency several times before, I know. 

Sadly, I still have so much to catch up on from the last last few eventful months. I know I said that I’d give myself ‘til Feb 14th to cover any past events but I really do want to cover them at least briefly, for posterity.  But I also really want to share the things that I find exciting or helpful or outrageous or mind-blowing currently. The things that have been working for me and/or others. I want to introduce you to people who inspire me. So many aspirations, so little follow through.  I’m starting to understand how to handle my ADD tendencies and so I’ve decide..it’s time for more structure.  There must needs be a system. So I’ve roughed out a little schedule that I think will help to keep me on track a little better.
Along with keeping up with Works for Me Wednesday (where among other things, I really and truly will finally be showing you the much hyped home organization, (you don’t believe me? Really?! As if I’d let the chance to brag painstakingly and pictorially about my organized pantry pass? Pffft…clearly you don’t know me) and reviving the fledgling Mental Health Monday posts,  I am planning to incorporate interviews with some of my amazing friends each Friday.  What should the catchy, alliterative name for that be? Friendly Friday? TGIFF (Thank Goodness I have these Friends Friday?) Yeah I’ll keep working on that. These are people who over the course of the last year decided to take control of things in their lives, threw out all the excuses, buckled down and just did it.  Their passion and joy and satisfaction in overcoming obstacles and getting out of their own way is so inspiring and contagious. 

It’s my  hope that having a bit of structure will appeal to the out of control OCD perfectionist within who likes anything that comes with instructions. I think having some guidelines will help me to just pick one of the millions of ideas on the multi-coloured mental post-its floating willy-nilly around in my cranium and write about something already.

Coming tomorrow: a brief (I promise) review on the hits and misses re: the resolutions I made for 2013 and my goals for 2014.

Happy March m’Peeps! We survived January and February! Just 3 months of Winter to go in Ohio!

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SistersFromAnotherMister said...

oh I just heart you and all your truth and honesty and light and goodness ... and you bring the funny and make me smile ... and the sad makes me nod and want to reach on and share a hug ...
and this is going to be the longest run on sentence evah.

We will conquer this 2014, because we can do hard things and big things while we cheer and love on eachother and those around us ... life is beautiful in all the little things and even in the depths of the dark and not so happy things - there is usually a glimmer - so come on year - bring it ;)